Connection

Each Day is a Gift

I welcome my mortality.
It’s scary to share with another
Thoughts of the impermanence of life.
Perhaps it is too morbid a subject for some
And it can really darken another’s mood.

Once you hit middle age 
You begin to realize
Half of a lifetime 
May already have been lived.
Maybe one day you notice
It takes the body longer to recover
than it used to.
Like I can’t roller skate as fast as before
And my balance is a bit off-kilter.

If today was my last day to live
How would I want it to go?
What would make my final moments
Have meaning?
Would I feel I’ve lived a well-lived and well-loved life?

Or would I deeply feel the shortness of life
And the reality that there isn’t enough time 
To do “all the things;”
That there was more in this lifetime for me 
to experience?
Checking things off a list 
or a life of comparison, 
wanting what they have
even if it doesn’t resonate with you,
isn’t the point.

Each day I try to embody that life truly is a gift.
And I intend to bring that appreciation
And gratitude into all my days 
While I get to roam this earth.

self-care

Coffee break

My hands cupped around 
the warm coffee mug.
It is full of aroma
And I savor the flavor.

My fingers hook
gently yet firmly
on the handle as
I bring it in 
for a sip.
The warm liquid gets
swallowed down my throat
as I promptly go in 
for another taste.

If I get distracted
with conversation,
with technology,
with making future plans
or anything that takes me away
from the simple pleasure
of drinking fresh coffee,
the liquid starts to cool
and moment by moment,
its flavor gets diminished.

The joy and pleasure
is fleeting.
And it is my intention
and attention alone
that keeps me centered
in the here and now
and not in autopilot.

The warm flavor
recedes like the
rip current that calls
waves back into
the sea.

I can still feel the
faint warmth of my coffee mug
cupped gently in my hands.
I do not want to squander
one bit of this
temporary reprieve of
the hustle and bustle of what we call
modern life.
abundance

How does jealousy and comparison serve me?

Jealousy can be a reminder of what I want my life to look like. How I want to spend my days being creative and comfortable, feeling safe to share my story. Of course, when I view others as having the life I’d like to embody, I’m not seeing the details, the work that it takes to get there. I just see the big picture and I want more of that in my life. Jealousy can be a metaphorical kick in the pants to take action toward my dreams. On the negative, jealousy can make me feel lack and blame that they took what was rightfully mine and I can never get it, or it was the only one and there is no other.

Comparison places others as being better or less than me. We are not equals in this game of life. It’s a game of competition, limited resources and the early worm gets rewarded. Yet, I always come up short or get the timing wrong. On the flipside, comparison can make me feel superior to others. I am better because I earned it and they didn’t. Or I feel guilt and cast shadows of doubt on my rewards in life.

Instead of jealousy and comparison, I’d like to feel prosperous, appreciative and at ease.

Prosperous, to me, is accepting all of the gifts that surround me. It is the innate knowing that I have all that I need. It stops the cycle of lack, blame and shame in its tracks. When I appreciate what I have, I’m better able to access the skills and wisdom that is already inside of me. I’d like to feel confident in my skills and abilities. I’d like to be at ease with my current circumstances and stop the inner and outer struggle to change reality.

Perhaps, if I make a daily intention to feel prosperous, to focus on appreciating what I have and be truly comfortable with myself, I will have the confidence to notice that when jealousy and comparison do crop up again, I have a choice. I can project a positive, optimistic outlook and it will come back to me. There really is enough for everyone. And what I have can never be lost or taken from me. I can genuinely feel happy for someone else’s achievements and I, in turn, am able to accept praise and compliments from others with ease and gratitude. Maybe those I may be jealous of today can be tomorrow’s friend or mentor. Our egos will no longer run the show when we show up with love and authenticity.

abundance

The sea glass

The sea glass is a buried treasure
washed to and fro.
The water ground down its 
edges and smoothed
its shards.

But it is an offering.
A reminder
that it outlived its 
original purpose and is anew.

Was it thoughtlessly discarded
or washed away in a 
blink of an eye?
The incoming tide does that
sometimes.
Washing away my sandals,
the bucket and shovel
If I lose sight and forget
nature's force 
for just a minute 
is all it takes.

Now this glass is anew.
A new purpose.
A treasure.

It's opaque and thick
I can't see through it
But I can hold it
Move it from hand to hand
Tighten and loosen my grip

It has traveled and seen
depths unknown to me
Except in my imagination.

I turn inward and out
like a labyrinth trail
Like the glass washed over
with sand until it
and I are polished
Anew.  A clean slate.
A new beginning.  A new
discovery where there are
no more limits.

That's how I seize today.
Carpe Diem and new moon intentions
A belief that endless possibilities lie ahead
Once I've done the inner work.
Outside circumstances
may have shifted in parallel time and space
But I am steady and still

Even if I don't move from this very spot
The earth has shifted and traveled
unbeknownst to my beating heart and
busy mind.  I have traveled, 
seen and loved, 
and discovered new shapes 
and stories about myself.