The Cycle of Lack

The Cycle of Lack
was a huge discovery
and life lesson for me.
It was the end of 2017
And it was the start of
My growth and 
Feeling mastery in my maturity.

I was no longer to blame
or at fault for my sense of lack.

Is it outside voices, ideals, projected lives
Or circumstance that
Makes me feel unfulfilled?
Always grasping for more
Feeling left out, left behind
Feeling like I'm missing out
And everyone else has their shit together?

The grass is always greener over there
And I’m stuck over here.
It can feel hopeless.
I may feel helpless and stuck.
It’s hard to find motivation
Let alone the momentum
Required to create
Positive change.

When I take a breath,
I can step outside of the
Hamster wheel of
Hurry and challenge
And create space,
A pause to examine
The reverie of lack
And ask: 
What would be enough?

What am I craving
In this moment?
Is it love, companionship or
Connection?
Am I lonely?

Do I crave alone time
Or solitude?
Do I feel like I’m being pulled
In a million directions?

Can I be kind to myself
And notice one good thing
That is going right?

I created the cycle of lack in 2017,
But it took four years to
Find my way out of the center
and learn that
The magic of reframing lack
to one of appreciation
Can break the cycle.

Will those thoughts creep up again?
Of course.
Life is full of its ups and downs.
It may feel like there’s shortages
In supply and energy.
I know I can rest.
And I can feel gratitude 
In what is enough
Just right now
Is all I need to break the cycle.