How does jealousy and comparison serve me?

Jealousy can be a reminder of what I want my life to look like. How I want to spend my days being creative and comfortable, feeling safe to share my story. Of course, when I view others as having the life I’d like to embody, I’m not seeing the details, the work that it takes to get there. I just see the big picture and I want more of that in my life. Jealousy can be a metaphorical kick in the pants to take action toward my dreams. On the negative, jealousy can make me feel lack and blame that they took what was rightfully mine and I can never get it, or it was the only one and there is no other.

Comparison places others as being better or less than me. We are not equals in this game of life. It’s a game of competition, limited resources and the early worm gets rewarded. Yet, I always come up short or get the timing wrong. On the flipside, comparison can make me feel superior to others. I am better because I earned it and they didn’t. Or I feel guilt and cast shadows of doubt on my rewards in life.

Instead of jealousy and comparison, I’d like to feel prosperous, appreciative and at ease.

Prosperous, to me, is accepting all of the gifts that surround me. It is the innate knowing that I have all that I need. It stops the cycle of lack, blame and shame in its tracks. When I appreciate what I have, I’m better able to access the skills and wisdom that is already inside of me. I’d like to feel confident in my skills and abilities. I’d like to be at ease with my current circumstances and stop the inner and outer struggle to change reality.

Perhaps, if I make a daily intention to feel prosperous, to focus on appreciating what I have and be truly comfortable with myself, I will have the confidence to notice that when jealousy and comparison do crop up again, I have a choice. I can project a positive, optimistic outlook and it will come back to me. There really is enough for everyone. And what I have can never be lost or taken from me. I can genuinely feel happy for someone else’s achievements and I, in turn, am able to accept praise and compliments from others with ease and gratitude. Maybe those I may be jealous of today can be tomorrow’s friend or mentor. Our egos will no longer run the show when we show up with love and authenticity.

shared stories


As I started this blog topic today,
I noticed lousy is in the word jealousy
And the final feeling
when all the rage, anger,
blame, guilt and shame
has settled down,
the end result is
I always feel lousy.

Can jealousy be my teacher
or at least serve as a guidepost
that a boundary perhaps
is being crossed?

Other times jealousy arises from
the actions perceived or real
by a stranger, someone unknown,
and it’s not personal.
But I feel recoiled, wounded and protective.
It opens up old scars that
I thought I’ve gotten over,
long healed and moved on.

Today, I got to work a little late
so my usual parking spot was taken.
It’s not mine. I don’t have a claim,
a sign, a right even to that parking spot. 
It’s just convenient.
I could always park one level up
and be on the same spot.
It’s all perspective,
claiming ownership over something
that isn’t mine.

Today it was a reminder of impermanence and 
the inevitable change that must occur.
And again suffering is optional
and at my own making.
I can leave feeling lousy.
And instead of starting my day on the positive, 
I’m feeling thrown off kilter, 
uncertain and grumpy.

When was the last time you felt jealous?