Time to pursue my creativity; Too many distractions and obligations That eat away my energy. And then when it's a good time to do the one thing I most want to do, I put it off, yet again. In the moment, Dusting the shelf just seems easier than writing. Just when I’m getting myself Motivated to start, There’s always one more thing to do. And that seems to take priority Over my creative pursuit. What’s missing? Time to connect to myself and others. A sense that there isn’t enough time; That I could or should be doing more. Although, how can that possibly be true? What ifs, coulds and shoulds are easy to be explain and defend When there’s no evidence to the contrary. And it takes me further away From my desires, my dreams. Even though I know the reasons are untrue That I can prioritize myself, My creativity, My movement, And the momentum gets started again. Everything ebbs and flows. Energy and time. Winter is the season of quiet reflection Of taking stock And not regret for what never was And couldn't ever be.
How can I have a more relaxed morning? I feel it is a frame of mind. I can choose to say, “I’m late!” and all the angst that follows. Or I can just say, “I’m doing the best I can. I got this!” And I usually then feel less hurried.
My morning commutes used to be highly stressful. Then I realized the main source of my stress occurred when I was traveling in the high-speed lane. As soon as I got over to the travel lane, I relaxed my grip on the steering wheel. My shoulders relaxed a bit. I took a few deep breaths. Now I hardly use the high-speed lane when I’m driving to work. I only will on the rare occasion when I have to pass another car. And guess what? I get to work on time!
I always seem to get there on time.
I don’t obsessively check the clock in my car during my commute. It doesn’t matter what it says. I’ll get there when I get there. And thank the stars I always do.
There’s a lot of road rage: angry, stressed, frazzled energy that crosses my path. I could choose to feel the tension boiling beneath the surface where you don’t want to be the recipient on the tail end when I lash out. I could charge full speed ahead in line with that energy or brazenly be “Me first!” with the tailgating and high emotions that follows.
Or I can choose to stay on my path: Just traveling. Passing through.
We all have the same want: to get to our destination safely. No one wants to get hurt.
How I react sets me up for good or bad. Is it worth saving a few more seconds?
The hardest part for me is being a passenger and relinquishing my need to be in control. I notice that at times I press my foot down on an imaginary brake when I think my husband is driving too close to a car in front of us. Over the years, my husband and I tend to only have arguments when we’re on the road. I judge his speed and length between cars. I am unable to relax and be present. All we want is to have a good conversation while we travel.
I can choose what to focus on. I can choose connection or outside factors beyond my control. I want to let go of my need to be in the driver’s seat. I want to make peace with the fact that I can’t control what other people on the road doing at that moment. Only I can decide how I want to interpret my thoughts and feel my emotions.
What would you choose?