I told myself
Over and over again.
I knew the advice was sound
But I was so impatient!
And lonely. I was tired
And fed up with being alone,
of not finding a connection
of not finding “The One.”
As the old advice goes.
I thought I could rush the process
Get to the finish line
Without doing the necessary work.
What I didn’t know was
It was all divine timing.
Even though in the messy middle,
I couldn’t find the lifeline.
My desires seemed just out of reach.
I needed a helping hand, a boost.
It was a hard narrow space
And I felt stuck.
The vault to my heart
was locked and well-guarded.
I didn’t want to be vulnerable,
to be open to being hurt again.
What I now know is
Where there is vulnerability,
There is an opening,
to receive love.
There I will find strength.
If I can’t be vulnerable
With the one I love,
The relationship is not authentic.
The foundation is fragile and loose.
Once I found I could be vulnerable
With another, I found safety
In letting down my guard
And it was strength, not a weakness.
That it was true connection,
And I finally found my loving partner.
After morning yoga.
After I’ve rearranged the furniture.
I’ve cleared out space
mental and physical.
I welcome the movement, the sighs, the popping joints,
the twists, the surprising strength.
The mental games that try to
take me away from the moment.
When I arrive in my mind and body,
I find soul full awareness.
I am grateful for this body.
For the time carved out just for me.
There is no shame
as my strong thighs hold me upright.
The meanness of cultural norms in
what a pose should look like
what a body should look like.
I honorably greet both ends of the spectrum
and invite a small smile to my lips as I inhale
and clear out the mental clutter once more.
The morning birds are making loud short bursts
even through the soft rain.
They too must meet their needs
and feed that hunger.
It feeds my soul and theirs
to find a shared delight at another
glorious day to be on this earth.
To occupy the same space.
Breathe the same air
and each feel free in our own way.
Free from shame.
Free from stiffness and aches.
Feeling strong and in flight as I move my body
just like the little birds outside my window.
We may not see the sun today
but we each welcome its arrival when it greets us once again.