Time slows to a crawl
The breath is my anchor
to the here and now
It is a soft place to land.
Time feels beyond my reach
I am either behind it
or waiting for a future moment
when it seems just right
To balance between
the waiting and the go
can be frustrating
uncomfortable
My thoughts are stuck
playing a loop
on the same recording
and it is hardly helpful
My thoughts are a made-up story
Where fact or fiction meld
into an excuse – a righteous reason
and I dutifully follow the trail it makes.
Distraction
Wishing things to change
but me, myself, I don’t
change is scary but necessary
How we grow
How we transform
How we create
All effects from change itself.
Do I embrace the wait?
The change that comes too soon
or seems to agonize on and on
Where’s the silver lining?
Isn’t that the point?
I have to wait
There is nothing I can do
but wait.
Tag: thoughts
BREATH
The ever changing thoughts That flow to and fro Like the incoming tide. Sometimes the current is strong And I get pulled under Stuck in thought. Good or bad Time ceases to exist: My current circumstance, The coffee beside me, The very breath itself. I am consumed in thought. What I encounter then is a choice. Moment to moment I can stop the monkey mind, the hamster wheel and I can break free. I can return to the ever present changing moment. The breath is my anchor. It flashes into my conscious mind And I find a silent reverie Befriended by my own Groundedness and strength. I encounter the moment Again and again. The thoughts change. The steadiness of my breath changes. The moment is ever changing. I can choose right now to swallow the bitter pill of being lost and consumed by thought. Or I can smile and breathe Knowing the choice was always mine and I am free.
Our wild and unruly thoughts are not the whole story
We are all hurting. If there’s one thing we share in common, it’s that we all experience pain and/or suffering.
Our thoughts can hold us hostage and sabotage our present moment. For example, when I got my new job, my husband suggested, “Let’s spend some time celebrating!” In an instant my mind shifted into forward thinking. There’s childcare needs, a new wardrobe to purchase, and a general fear of the unknown. That moment to celebrate was ever so brief. Sweet but not fully experienced, not completely felt. In hindsight, perhaps I should have taken a moment to savor the excitement and opportunity and let a feeling of gratitude set in.
It’s over too quickly and we can’t get it back. I had a similar experience when my 19-year old cat Max died. My mom and I never followed through on our plan to memorialize him. We were in a state of grief and I had to take care of my toddler. We didn’t get the chance to properly mourn him. As a result we suffered on our own and grieved alone. Instead of holding each other, we kept it inside. A few years have passed since then. And I don’t know if we will ever be in that space again.
Our thoughts can run wild if we let them. They can rob us from the rich and healing experience of being fully present: to how we are feeling or what is happening in this moment. Now I try to pause when I notice my mind going rampant or rehashing the same story over and over. I take a deep breath and think, “I’ve already spent enough time, space and energy on this.” I soften and I take a moment to notice my surroundings. “How is this story, forward or past thinking distracting me from the NOW? Is it causing me undo stress?” Of course, it is.
Then I ask the question, “How do I want to feel instead?” Usually I want to feel relaxed, present and connected to my family.
And the final question, “What can I do to make that feeling a reality?” Usually it’s taking a few box breaths or utilizing one of my self-care tools. I’m a work in progress. There are days when I forget my tools and I get lost in thought and distraction. I lose my grounding and connection to myself and the present moment. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m continuing to learn and re-learn what works for me, and I will always continue to do so.
Now it’s your turn. How do your thoughts affect you? Are they distracting you from what’s going on right now? Are they causing you undo stress? If so, how do you want to feel instead? And what can you do to make that feeling come true?
I send you peace.
Healing Insights 