Six planets align in the night sky
Their rotation and route mapped out
by my ancestors
Math never lies
There is predictable safety in their patterns
We try to guess which one is the brightest
Is it Jupiter?
Is that Saturn’s rings – Yes!
The golden star above my house
and the dark silhouette of trees
Can Saturn see the earth?
Is it a blue star in their sky?
The trajectory of me, a mere earthling
looking up and seeing a song of the ancients.
They say a star’s light took billions of light years
just to twinkle in my eye
What an impossible journey
but here it is Painting and lighting up the dark sky
so many stars
at least 12 – 15 by my counting.
It is cold, the dead of winter
– not in the cosmos –
the sleep of winter is just my experience
what seemed a billion lifetimes ago
is not so far from what I can see
counting and marveling at the light
in the quiet of the night.
There is magical possibility
in the incredulous impossibility
What was once expressed as a ball of
gas and light has not been long forgotten
It shines above me now
It has a story to share
to those who look upon it
My ear is open to hear your tale
My heart is open to believe
I see you now
A hand holding mine
We keep each other warm through this night.
Tag: story
I greet myself
I stretch and breathe.
I expand and reach out
to touch a lock of hair.
It is never out of place
even as it grows and gets cut
It is still the same self.
The scale inches up
more and more each visit
to a specialist’s office.
Do I dare to look?
If I don’t see it,
it doesn’t truly exist, right?
I see myself as the same me
though the outerwear has morphed
grown no longer so firm
and fertile.
How I feel so outside of myself.
Disconnected from my center.
The space that grew and bore
two beautiful children.
I marvel at their beauty,
their perfection every day.
How can I find them so perfect
and me, who bore them, so imperfect?
Societal norms
Harsh words that stung
and played around
over and over in my brain.
Till I believed them as truth
words I vow never to say
to these beautiful babes
so full of potential
truly wanted and loved.
Is love really finite?
Can’t I find some of that same love
and turn it toward me?
To my center
to my current weight
and space I occupy.
I don’t want to live in regret
and I want to shed these old
stories, these old beliefs
no longer holding me back.
The World is Rapidly Changing
The world is rapidly changing
Faster and faster
The moment can hold so much.
My ease, my joy, my lightness,
My good and bad.
The different versions of ourselves.
The good daughter
The sacrificial martyr is not my goal,
Is not the point.
This is the breaking point.
The changing of patterns
That change the story
That change the state of being.
I can be light.
I can jump on the stress train.
I choose where to focus
How to be, to show up.
This is me.
With Fresh Eyes
With fresh eyes I begin again in meditation. Sounds and thoughts pass by. Just like the breath. I am the silent witness. Waves of awareness Swirl around me. Can I follow a sound From inception to conclusion? What stories and assumptions do I attach to them? Can I bring peaceful presence To my everyday life, To each encounter, To each thought? I begin again With fresh eyes And an open heart.
Seeds
The doorway opens. Heartbeat to heartbeat Seeds clutched in my hand Waiting to be sowed Not knowing what lies ahead. Seeds are like ideas and words. Some have a way of Flowing into the heart and mind. Germinating into core beliefs, A shared memory or story. Where it originated Sometimes a mystery. Seeds can root into an entire story whose words and thoughts can empower and create growth. Some stories have to be Pruned back to allow in more light And space for new growth to take shape, To embody and take root. It all starts with a little seed. A seed in my heart that germinates into thought, Speech and the written word. Those fruits can then be passed From me to you. An offering from the heart.
The lives that dream beyond the window pane
The lives that dream beyond the window pane a glimpse into the soul but I can never surmise what is really there. I see a middle-aged woman bending over is she too old and unable to stand upright? Does she use a cane or a walker? Is she always carrying a heavy load along with a heavy heart? She is bending over to what I can’t see. I am curious about her life. Does she suffer? Did she ever feel pride and proud of her accomplishments? I can wonder and assume. I find that I transpose my feelings as if we share one heart, one life, one soul. But the story is not mine. She is bent way down and I can just see the top of her grayish hair pulled into a high bun on her head. What mysteries lay out of my sight. Now she moves. She is standing once more. Her arms are full with the warm embrace of a child that she lifts up so they can talk and see each other eye to eye. The child and the woman are smiling and the woman starts swaying a gentle dance. Is there music? Is there song? Her eyes and face are bright. She no longer seems bent over, weak and worn. She is full of life with the sweet babe who lights her soul and mine as I continue to pass on my way. A smile on my face that she is not suffering nor am I. The world is lovely and has tender moments and I’m grateful to be the silent witness of this loving magic that fills the air.
Fixed v. Growth Mindset
It depends on how much I “buckle down” and get done. If I just work a little harder, strive a little more, I will be X: Happier, successful, loved, fulfilled, accomplished, complete, evolved to be my best, smartest, healthiest, perfect-as-I-am self. But that’s a cop-out. I will never fully “arrive” as my life is here for the long haul. My health, my interests, my friends, work, creative focus and otherwise will wax and wane, as it should in this place called life.
What happens when we get to the end of the road and arrive? Is that the end of my story? Do I stop learning, evolving and growing? Do I want to?
There is no ultimate destination because that would mean the end of the line, the old couple on the porch sipping lemonade as the days quickly pass, waiting for what? Remembering the past and stuck in story? Waiting for a peaceful end to a fulfilled life?
I’m not there yet. I have a lot more to learn, to glean, to create, to love, to be, to serve, to clear way, to relax, to enjoy, to delight, to revel and linger. It’s too much, too juicy, too soon to stop.
So that fixed narrative sets you up for failure because there is no “done.”
Just be. Just here with life’s lessons, trials and tribulations, joys, mistakes, regrets, loves, memories both cherished and wished to be forgotten, hopes, dreams, pleasures, etc. My growth mindset says to keep being curious on what lights me up lately. Keep writing, keep asking the questions, digging and laying the inner groundwork to see what’s in store next.
Healing Insights 