shared stories

Being still with fear

What do we do when
we feel discomfort?
Do we run away?
Do we distract ourselves?
Do we ignore and pretend
A doubting of reality?

Where do the feelings go
when they are repressed
and not fully expressed?

Do we digest them
through our pores
and with our breath?
Do they alchemize into
Our cells, our inner makeup
Only to resurface again later?

Am I okay if I sit here
With the fear, 
the doubt, the unknown?
Will I somehow lose myself
and be completely consumed and
transformed by it, 
as fear would tell?

What if I sit here for 10 seconds?
Surely, I can do anything
for just 10 seconds.
No big deal, I tell fear
after the time’s run out.

And, well, I’ll be.
I’m still me.
I didn’t fall of the cliff.
The earth didn’t
cease to rotate
because I sat with
the doubt or uncertainty.

Still the earth rotates
on its axis
and I became one with
the fear and found my way
to the other side,
To home.

Confidence in myself,
My self-worth,
My inner being
was strengthened as a result
of just getting still
And being with 
the discomfort.

For just a moment in time
Heaven moved with the earth
And I came out unscathed
At having faced it,
Just for today.


Moon’s Darling

The moon greeted me this morning. 
The upper half was overhanging and slant in the blue sky. 
What does she balance on above that empty space? 
Pure magic 
Pure belief that she is held and so am I. 
There is no doubt Only trust.

I too want to feel that blind leap of faith that an invisible net will catch me before the fall. 
The lure of the illusion of groundlessness is strong 
And I try as I might to truly believe like the magic of sea water in a glass. 
The salt settles only if it is absolutely still. 
Then it can embody its true nature.

There is only one way and that is to act. 
It is a mean trick that fear plays; 
that I’ll appear a fool, hurt myself or others. 
I want to let the magic kiss me on the cheek and be that darling I know I am.

There is only a door that is blocking out the light and the night. 
There is no view or glimpse of what beholds on the other side. 
I can grab ahold of the doorknob
pry it open as the hinges squeak and creak adding to the mystery. 

Now all I have to do is step over the threshold of my mind and take that leap. 
To be moon’s darling in day and night. 
We dance as one in our exuberant embrace. 
There is no separation 
no fear to interfere with this serene space

Half Moon