The great life lesson was unknown to me As it was happening in the moment. It took many years of trial and error and trying on another’s ideas or practices into my own life. Some practices resonated deeply with me. Others I tried in vain to make work Unwilling to feel like a failure As I set out to try it yet again. Setting high unrealistic expectations then wondering and strengthening my own perceived shortcomings. It is natural and normal To try things on for size To see if it is a fit. It’s also natural and normal To try to make things work, To try again and again. As I’ve matured I finally learned The greatest lesson: That it is natural and normal To let it go; To thank it For not fitting quite right And to be on the lookout For a better fit. For a practice to truly stick It has to be modified And incorporated into every day life. If it sits on a shelf Or stays tucked away neatly In a notebook, Never to be visited again For months or years, It is just wishful thinking. Of course, we can feel like a failure But it wasn’t the right fit. It’s okay to dabble, To take just one piece And add it to your toolbelt If it works and Adds value to daily life. The final lesson of all is that It’s up to me to find my own fulfillment. I can try things on for size But I am in the driver seat. I can pick and choose And let the rest go.
Tag: lesson
Listening
I paused before eating the donut. I took a breath and realized that I have a green smoothie in the fridge. Maybe I’ll enjoy the donut tomorrow. It’s rainy. It’s cold and I’m eating cold food. I was fighting off a virus on Easter and my appetite is still not back to normal. I’m grazing and not consuming my usual portion size. Today I drank my first small cup of half-calf coffee. I still want to limit my intake. I’m so tired of the energy crashes. Maybe without caffeine, I’ll have steady, normal energy again. Wouldn’t that be blissful? Like when I was a child again.
Lately I’ve been suffering tennis elbow. I decided that I’m going to be as hands-free as possible with my belongings. Constantly having my hands full can become a way of life: Carrying our burdens all the time. Carrying our obligations and “the weight of the world.” That it’s our burden alone to carry.
Well, I’m not down with that anymore. This momma is getting a cross-over purse. She’s going to limit what she carries:
I will only hold one beverage at a time or I’ll find a suitable place to carry it for me. The old me normally held a glass water bottle, had a coffee travel mug tucked in the crook of my arm with the weight of my purse handle pressing into my inner elbow. All the weight was on my right side leaving my left hand free to open the door or to navigate. My husband has called me a “bag lady” on more than one occasion. I brushed it off as an annoying comment. I didn’t realize how ridiculous I looked until I caught a glimpse of myself. It reflected how much I always seem to carry: work bags, tote bags, a child, grocery bags, laundry, food, etc.
This bout with tennis elbow has been painful. But as the astute learner, I’m listening to its message. “You do enough. You don’t have to pile anything else onto your plate. It is safe to let it go for now.”
And pausing is the best first response. That microsecond gives me a moment to reflect, to think, to not go off on to autopilot and reach for the donut.
Even though it’s a cold, gray day, I feel energized. Maybe it’s because I kicked this cold to the curb and I’m feeling like my old self again. Perhaps a lighter version of myself and I’m seeing with renewed eyes.
Healing Insights 