Time slows to a crawl
The breath is my anchor
to the here and now
It is a soft place to land.
Time feels beyond my reach
I am either behind it
or waiting for a future moment
when it seems just right
To balance between
the waiting and the go
can be frustrating
uncomfortable
My thoughts are stuck
playing a loop
on the same recording
and it is hardly helpful
My thoughts are a made-up story
Where fact or fiction meld
into an excuse – a righteous reason
and I dutifully follow the trail it makes.
Distraction
Wishing things to change
but me, myself, I don’t
change is scary but necessary
How we grow
How we transform
How we create
All effects from change itself.
Do I embrace the wait?
The change that comes too soon
or seems to agonize on and on
Where’s the silver lining?
Isn’t that the point?
I have to wait
There is nothing I can do
but wait.
Author: Healing Insights with Jen
I share my stories honestly as an attempt to find meaning and connection. My intention is that by sharing our stories we ultimately heal ourselves and the world. I want to be a beacon of light to show that it is possible to find your footing and inner strength even when the world seems to be in chaos.
To Walk in this world
We share the earth
its riches and gifts
the very air we breath
all for the taking
Not for the hoarding
the I, me, mine
has gotten us to this
pinpoint in time
to really make a shift
in our thinking, in our eating,
in our hearts and words
To walk in this world
we must become the stewards
to respect and replenish
Earth’s many gifts
The future depends on us
though we may not see what
lies ahead
There is power and empowerment
There is sorrow and horrors
like on this blood red ground,
ashes and cinders
where homes, schools and businesses
once stood proud
ready to serve, learn and relax
The fire burned out of control
like when we fire back
unspoken utterly ruthless
gutting thoughts
It’s hard to take those words back
But this too is a turning point
We can ask for forgiveness
deeply apologetically
And take the lessons gained
Lessons learned forward
to our future encounters
our future endeavors
To walk in this world
we must become worldly
not shy, timid or stretched
too thin with productivity
over commitment
we must dig deep and fill our well
so that there is an overflow
of good enough
of a shared right to the Earth’s gifts
Our own gift of peace can turn the tide
Try it. To walk in this world
say hi to a neighbor or heck
even a stranger
If the world feels unfriendly,
be the friend you wish to keep
If you get shut down or ignored,
it’s all part of the warming-up process
our warm hearts and hands
hold you and your beloveds.
Come take a walk with me.
Today
I draw the curtain back
and allow the sunlight to
fill the room and all its
edges and corners with light
– sweet blessed light –
to chase away the darkness
of the night.
I was afraid of the dark
as a child I saw the shadows
dance across the walls and
I was filled with terror.
As a child I was powerless
the world loomed large and I
so small, too small to make a difference
to be heard.
The curtain clears the cobwebs
of my mind and I greet the day
counting my blessings to be alive
today is the only one that counts
Today I can make a difference and I do.
I can steer and guide that light
– that inner light intermingled with dark –
and shine a flashlight on all that was
– and is –
filled with fear and unknowing.
I can manipulate and warp the light
like a prism broken into all its colorful
rays of light.
Today I make finger puppets with the shadow
We play and walk,
morphing our shadows into one.
Fear still grips at me sometimes
even in full daylight
Shocks and anxieties aglow
I breathe
And as I do, I steady my heart.
The tick tock of a clock
mimics my heartbeat and I
find that connection once more
to be grateful to be alive.
Today, this moment
I cherish the lessons
even those not faint of heart
that grew and morphed and shaped me
into me
And I smile and greet the day.
The Golden Star
Six planets align in the night sky
Their rotation and route mapped out
by my ancestors
Math never lies
There is predictable safety in their patterns
We try to guess which one is the brightest
Is it Jupiter?
Is that Saturn’s rings – Yes!
The golden star above my house
and the dark silhouette of trees
Can Saturn see the earth?
Is it a blue star in their sky?
The trajectory of me, a mere earthling
looking up and seeing a song of the ancients.
They say a star’s light took billions of light years
just to twinkle in my eye
What an impossible journey
but here it is Painting and lighting up the dark sky
so many stars
at least 12 – 15 by my counting.
It is cold, the dead of winter
– not in the cosmos –
the sleep of winter is just my experience
what seemed a billion lifetimes ago
is not so far from what I can see
counting and marveling at the light
in the quiet of the night.
There is magical possibility
in the incredulous impossibility
What was once expressed as a ball of
gas and light has not been long forgotten
It shines above me now
It has a story to share
to those who look upon it
My ear is open to hear your tale
My heart is open to believe
I see you now
A hand holding mine
We keep each other warm through this night.
I greet myself
I stretch and breathe.
I expand and reach out
to touch a lock of hair.
It is never out of place
even as it grows and gets cut
It is still the same self.
The scale inches up
more and more each visit
to a specialist’s office.
Do I dare to look?
If I don’t see it,
it doesn’t truly exist, right?
I see myself as the same me
though the outerwear has morphed
grown no longer so firm
and fertile.
How I feel so outside of myself.
Disconnected from my center.
The space that grew and bore
two beautiful children.
I marvel at their beauty,
their perfection every day.
How can I find them so perfect
and me, who bore them, so imperfect?
Societal norms
Harsh words that stung
and played around
over and over in my brain.
Till I believed them as truth
words I vow never to say
to these beautiful babes
so full of potential
truly wanted and loved.
Is love really finite?
Can’t I find some of that same love
and turn it toward me?
To my center
to my current weight
and space I occupy.
I don’t want to live in regret
and I want to shed these old
stories, these old beliefs
no longer holding me back.
The present moment
Right now I know this
Despite the sorrow and the fear
– or in spite of sorrow and the fear –
Now is all there is
Often it is not front and center
with a proper view of what This is
Sometimes I think I can find it
and Embody this now that is
I return to my center
no longer lost in the tumultuous thoughts,
strings of notions and ideas
whether original or not
That weighs heavy on my mind
I just let it go
And I can feel the now
Glimpses of gladness arrive
My heart feels the light
there’s Goodness, nourishment
Rooted in the here and now.
The lone star
Lost
without its moon
companion
Patience, little one
The moon dervishes
and orbits a reliable track
In no time
your paths will meet
again
cross-star lovers with
eons of Milky Way to travel
together
and never that far
apart.
We All Walk Upon This Earth
There is so much beauty under each step.
My eyes feast on the colors,
the ever changing sky and landscape,
even as my feet stay rooted to the same grounds.
The varied sounds of nature fill my ears.
The crisp, clear air fills my lungs.
And for a moment I am fulfilled
and alive in every sense.
I pause and try to hold it all in
almost to the point of bursting.
And when I exhale,
I let out more than hot CO2.
I let go of my troubles, fears, and anxieties.
I surrender to the empty void.
– Lucky –
Alive to take it all in once again.
The World Makes Its Own Kind of Music
the song of the bird
the song of the whale
the drumming of raindrops
the howling wind outside
a whirlwind of brown dead leaves rustle.
All symphony.
Even the ear-piercing airplane engines
as they prepare to take flight.
Even the neighbor’s loud, barking dog
that seems to holler out at hourly intervals.
All the world is filled with music.
When all is quiet and the earth seems to be asleep,
my heart leaps into rhythm and drum
– beat after beat –
A constant companion.
I, too, am an instrument.
I can clap, tap or snap.
And when I hum or sing,
a choir of bells arises in my throat.
Music fills the silence.
The steady quiet breath,
a yawn – even a sneeze –
all longing to be a part of that glorious symphony.
The quiet stillness of winter
The quiet stillness of winter
that silent falling snow brings.
Its white beauty leaves a mark
on all it touches.
I am warm here
inside under blankets and layers.
The heater spurts hot air
to keep me snug and cozy.
The squirrels move in bursts
fits of flight and fancy
Gathering what they can
to survive another day.
I marvel at the young ones
who have a playful spirit
among the game of survival.
The snow falls onto them.
They seem not to notice
the snowflake kissing its cheek.
I find my own sense of joy
in the slow quiet gray.
A warm mug in my hands,
and soon a pen appears.
It scrawls across the paper now.
We are all connected.
Even the shelter, the comfort
a façade for what is true.
This day is a gift.
Our bodies roll and turn.
We stretch our muscles and our limits.
Limitless ground sprawls to the horizon.
The nameless critters
and those with wings
take flight
a dark mark across a gray white sky.
Snow floating down
quiet and blanketed.
The Earth sleeps and I
find comfort in nature‘s ever changing beauty.
Mine for the taking
as our bodies merge into one
green and blue globe.
We aren’t that different
sheltered and warm
a facade for what is true.
This day is a gift.
Healing Insights 